The prospect of writing vows can seem like a daunting task. The thought of trying to sum up your feelings for another person and say exactly the right words can make for just a bit of stress on your big day. However, it doesn’t have to be that way at all. That’s why I wanted to take a moment to go over some of the top vow writing tips I’ve gained from many years of wedding photo and video experience.
Quick Notes:
- Don’t overthink it
- Reflect on your relationship
- Write about things you’ve experienced together
- Envision your person in front of you
- Include deeply meaningful and personal promises
Why it is meaningful to write your own vows
Writing your own vows can be incredibly meaningful. And, yes, a little scary. The most important thing to remember is that it’s about the two of you. These vows are something you will have to cling to when times get tough. They’ll what you will have to remember when you’re old and gray, and they’re really important.
Don’t overthink it
Don’t overthink it. The more you stress about finding the right words, the harder they will be to find. Deep down in your heart, you already know what to say. You just have to find the best way to express those feelings. Start at the beginning. How did you first meet? What were your thoughts? Think about how the other person makes you feel. Close your eyes and just imagine them standing there–what are they doing? Are they smiling, laughing, making a funny face? Is their hair blowing slowly in the wind? Are they dressed up or dressed down? Picturing yourself standing there with them will not only help bring out those feelings, but it will make the process of actually standing there in front of them easier because it will feel like you’ve already been there before.
The thing with writing, in any context, is that it needs to sound like you–not some polished, professionally written essay for your high school English teacher. How would you talk if you were talking to a friend? What kinds of words would you use? Would you be funny or would you be deep and poetic? Do you and your partner quote TV shows or movies all the time, or maybe you are musical and want to throw that in somehow? Then, just speak from the heart; whatever you decide to say is going to be the right thing.
Reflect on your relationship
It’s often hard to figure out where to start and what to say and how to make your vows authentic. Take some time for yourself and reflect on your relationship and what the other person means to you. Note how you feel when you think of your other half and the great times you’ve had together (looking at photos can help!). Once you have everything written, you can then edit and move things around so that they flow nicely and make more sense.
It also helps to think about the things you would like to hear and then look at it from your future spouse’s perspective. You can write your vows until less than an hour before you walk down the aisle before the wedding. Sometimes it’s easier under pressure and you’re feeling loved and ready to say I do. It also gives you less time to overthink it but honestly I recommend not putting that pressure on yourself.
Write about the things you’ve experienced together
If you plan on doing a wedding video, beautifully written vows are so important. The more unique and poetic the vows, the more inspired we are to make an equally unique wedding film. Write about your story–the moment you first saw one another, the qualities about the other person who made you want to commit forever, the places you’ve been and things you’ve done together. Try to skip the generic and get as personal as you feel comfortable with. People love crying at weddings, so help them do it!
Envision your person in front of you
Envision the person in front of you as you are writing the words of your love story. This is the time you’re able to express yourself in as open, honest, and genuine as possible. Brood over your thoughts and intentions. This should probably not be something you come up with the night before the wedding with your friends, and rarely something you want to make off the cuff.
Include deeply meaningful and personal promises
These don’t have to be the traditional “for richer or poorer” vows; you can include very personal promises that mean something to you and your partner. What is something in your relationship that your partner always asks you to do? What does your partner love doing with you? What are the things that mean the most to them? How do you want your marriage to look and what can you promise them that will help you both achieve that?
About Dave McIntosh Photographics
My talent helps you remember each moment fondly. This means not only gorgeous photos and video but also a positive experience. When you look at the photos, you recall how you felt. Capturing special moments is more than picking up a camera. Sometimes is it creating a safe space for you to relax and be yourself. Sometimes it is creating a moment. Once you relax and be in the moment, the magic begins. I will guide you to create memories perfectly suited to you based on over 10 years of photographing and helping plan weddings.